MASSACHUSETTS: What Happened To Mike’s Place? PART I

PART I

(Note: some of the names in this account have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals. Also, the chronology may have been changed to allow for more understandable organization of the article.)

At Firing Up Pizza Grill, the self-proclaimed head driver, Ryan, confides to every newbie that he’s finally figured out the ideal level of marijuana he needs in his system to be able to complete his job every day. With just a bit of indignant, whimsical flair, he is called into the back room by the indignant Hispanic manager to help confront a delivery driver that didn’t successfully make minimum wage in tips that week, and dared to complain.

Meanwhile, across Gloucester, Pakistani brothers Javed and Adnan Azeem have their hands full, just as business is about to pick up for the summer. They bought Mike’s place about seven years previous, and while they’re optimistic about the future, their business has been slowly and steadily declining. Particularly devastating has been a loss of business coinciding with the opening of Firing Up.

The owner of Firing Up, Mike Parianos, told the Salem News almost a year ago that the reason for the new restaurant was simply that he loves Gloucester. “That’s it. There’s no other reason.”

Javed Azeem closes the door to his office, and takes time for his obligatory Islamic prayers. He watches his security system like a hawk, quickly pouncing upon kitchen workers who steal soda, and making an example out of them. The refrigerator is on the fritz. Reviews online are – well, they are what they are, Azeem reasons. He can’t do anything about what other people write online.

Mitchell, a short Mexican, goes by “Meechew” around the kitchen. He’s got – a slight drinking problem, probably because he works about twelve-hour days. Naturally, he has a short fuse, but he keeps the pizzas coming, so Azeem, the brains of the operation, keeps the paychecks coming – at least for now.

There’s a knock at the door of Javed’s office. Jim, one of the delivery drivers, asks for Sunday off so he can attend a friend’s wedding. Jim is one of the best workers at Mike’s Place, probably in Gloucester. He has been with the Azeem brothers since near when they purchased the store from its namesake Mike Parianos, and he’s seen a lot. An all around agreeable and likable fellow, Jim has a bit of a ham streak, but he reserves it for his guitar performances at the Rhumb Line bar, just down the street. The owner there loves how no matter what group Jim plays with, he always keeps the crowd happy – and drinking.

Another delivery driver, Tim- not to be confused with Jim, is also a Gloucester native, the type that could have possibly been a fisherman, but prefers to steer a car instead of a ship. He’s seen the lives fishermen lead, and, all told, he’s considering masonry. When asked what he would do if Mike’s Place didn’t exist any more, he simply replies, “I’d probably work at another Pizza Shop.”

“Timothy!” The Portuguese girl from the front, whom we’ll call Catina, not quite of drinking age, exclaims as she saunters past Tim and the other drivers, making some final checks before taking off with another batch of carbohydrate highs. Timothy cracks a smirk as Catina accidentally shoves a new delivery driver nearly into the shelf with her rotund figure, which she is clearly comfortable with. “Timothy,” she asks, cosying up to him, “How mooch for ay kig?” (How much for a keg.)

A driver protests. Catina explains, “En my cohntree(country) I can drink. The man who have sex with me when I was fifteen. I shoo have gotten him arrested.” And she continues wearily toward the front counter, whacking both Tim and the other driver.

Catina is one of the better counter girls. Her broken English and dead-beat boyfriend have made life difficult, and she depends upon the overtime she does – like most of the kitchen, to pay her bills.

Timothy explains, “Catina and I were together for a while. So of course, I got punched a few times.”

Adnan cracks up as one of the delivery drivers, who brings the coffee and kitchen treats, does an impression of Juliana, an older counter and prep girl. The impression of Juliana is something akin to a penguin waddle and Milton from Office Space. Adnan says it’s dead on. Reliably, Juliana wears her usual uniform, a tee shirt with a jumbo-sized picture of Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro. Juliana tries to hide a snicker, in spite of herself.

It’s not that Javed Azeem isn’t aware of the less-than-genteel issues plaguing the customer service experience, or Meechew’s alcohol-soaked short fuse. An employee just informed Azeem that, in plain view of the security cameras, a kitchen worker attempted to display the very worst sort of pornography to a very unwilling co-worker. It’s the last thing Azeem needs to hear, and he decides to ignore the problem.

Javed agrees, “If someone is over eighteen, you can’t control what they do.”

“But it’s different with that type of picture,” employee protests in vain.

The Azeem brothers had retained some of the slightly better-looking counter girls from the days just before Firing Up-owner Parianos sold him the joint, along with a reputation for uncleanliness that just about anyone in Gloucester familiar with the restaurant was aware of. The old guard of counter girls were no longer with Mike’s Place, namely because of their affairs with the delivery drivers. Javed didn’t mind the affairs so much as the strange habit of his grandfathered employees’ sending his customers over to Firing Up. After about the twentieth time catching wind of Parianos’s almost-attractive hire sending the umpteenth would-be customer over to Parianos’s new establishment, The Azeems finally escort the girl off the premises for the final time.

Erik Kopri, another delivery driver with a penchant for mischief, didn’t pull any punches. He introduced himself to co-workers at Mike’s Place as a man who was there to work for the competition, but was there to help. His aptly named, cut-throat rate “Delivery Sharks” service consists of a rough-looking gang who would, to this day, congregate in the Shaw’s Parking Lot just across Railroad Avenue from Mike’s Place, eying the restaurant, and waiting to send his men over when the Azeem Brothers don’t have adequate staff on-hand. The Azeems oblige his request to place pamphlets on their front counter, stating, “Delivery Sharks: Circling The Island, So You Don’t Have To.” To this day, the delivery sharks continue to take up valuable real estate at Shaw’s for free, keenly eyeing Mike’s Place, just in case it might, against all speculation, somehow re-open.

“El Hombre De Los Hombres Americanos!” One of the kitchen staff greets a driver who always brings the kitchen workers treats and coffee from the road. Another, “Meechew” (Mitchell) is suspicious of the friendly delivery driver, as he was of most people. Tiny Meechew often rushes people he didn’t like, and then at the last minute, muttered a kind of Mexican curse phrase. Catina literally almost knocks the gift-bearing employee off his feet as he walks by, as Timothy looks on from the delivery desk. Catina doesn’t say a word.

She returns to the counter with the less attractive, less-agreeable counter girls just in time to take a call. Adnan wishes the girls would be nicer to customers, but he’s having difficulty taking orders himself, and so he’s forced to defer to Catina with the odd habit of doggedly bumping into all the non-hispanic male workers.

“Mike’s Place, Pickup Or Delivery?” says Catina by rote, and then, “Hode on.” Then, she turns to Adnan, and says, “It’s Nilsen (Nelson).” Adnan’s pupils dilate. What now? He thinks, as Catina squints and listens intently. Nilsen doesn’t drink quite as much as Meechew, so he manages to fly under the radar most of the time. However, sleep deprivation from his overnights cleaning The Beauport.

Adnan asks to speak to Nilsen. “No,” explains Catina. “It’s the police. “Nilsen fall asleep behind deh wheel again.”

The police had spent a full few minutes trying to wake up Nilsen, miraculously still alive after dozing off in the middle of the road during a delivery. After careful consideration, Adanan gives Nilsen the rest of the night off.

“You should have told the police you were going twenty-five,” Javed told the other, treat-bearing delivery driver struggling to make quota. He had just racked up his second work-related speeding ticket. He tried to explain to the Gloucester police that he was under lots of pressure from work to do “more pizzas in less time,” but the police were unmoved. The Gloucester Police were still reeling from their own scandals of the past year, and weren’t quite as empathetic as the judge would be. Javed pleads, “Don’t talk about Mike’s Place in court. It won’t help you.”

That’s when Jake arrives. Jake is an amiable and personable young man with friends all over Gloucester. He enjoys partying in P-Town on the weekends, and only drives back drunk and high. He says he’s getting clean – meaning, he’s abandoning some of the harder drugs. However, Jake counts some of the town’s shelter crowd among his friends, and they’re all too eager to suck him into worlds of trouble. So every time Jake makes an honest-to-goodness effort to dump one of the many drugs sucking the life out of him, the crowd that hangs out in the McDonald’s Parking Lot tempts him into another fight that lands him in court. To make matters even worse, his slick sports car, with UV lights and orgy-inducing subwoofer, has just been destroyed, and he’s not going to be able to finish his shift.

Adnan picks up the phone. What would he do without the delivery sharks? Never mind that Erik has been bragging to Adnan’s employees – and everyone else – that soon, he’s going to put Adnan’s delivery service out of business. Adnan politely asks for a delivery driver to come over, and within seconds, a shark is dispatched from just across the street, where Erik has had cars pointed at Mike’s Place, just waiting for such an occasion. Adnan thanks Erik, and Erik replies, “No problem.”

****************

Revenue and sale counts continue to decline, as they have been in the seven -odd years since the Azeems took over Mike’s Place. The counter girls don’t clean the dining room, and the hispanic kitchen workers don’t keep on top of emptying the pail serving as a trash barrel in the employee restroom. This wouldn’t be a problem, except for the fact that, since there is no customer rest room, the customers are often escorted to the employee restroom, in the kitchen. Adnan has Catina hand-write a sign for the door that reads, “Sorry, no public restroom.” The customers pour in anyway.

Adnan is relieved to find a new delivery driver who does not show up drunk. The Greek gentleman’s name is Robert, and he seems to be able to communicate with customers well enough, despite his thick Eastern European accent, and somewhat tough swagger. Robert tries to eat healthy, but like the other staffers, often ends up eating the free pizza that comes with the job. The driver who brings the coffee suggests that the Azeems introduce an organic wheat crust to gain a competitive edge, but the Azeems have too much on their minds already.

Catina’s older sister, realizing that she might do well behind the camera, is promoted from counter-girl to Mike’s Place photographer. She says she has never had so much fun on the job in all her life.

Adnan sells pizzas outside during Gloucester’s Independence Day Parade, and Javed happily snaps pictures. Unfortunately, traffic gridlock from the parade freezes deliveries, resulting in some deliveries taking up to two hours, even after the conclusion of the parade, and the drawbridge that just can’t manage to stay down.

A new Brazilian-Asian girl, Julie, has just started. She’s bright, friendly, and on all counts, one of the best delivery drivers the Azeems have ever hired. Girls don’t often fare well as delivery drivers, but for some reason, she and another new hire, Maria, are breaking the mold and killing it. And they couldn’t have gotten there at a better time. Jake announces he is unable to continue driving. Something about losing his license after his car was searched and police found brass knuckles in his car, which – apparently – are illegal. The takeaway for Jake? Jake explains something about a girl, and why he’ll never date another one like that again. He then asks if his co-worker would like to hear a blonde joke.

The Azeems have, coincidentally, just hired a congenial, blonde-dyed high-school senior named Shaela. Shaela’s hiding at the moment because one of the guests has taken too much of a liking for Shaela’s comfort, and the Brazillian-Portuguese crew surrounding her are much too jealous of her to act with any sympathy. That said, Shaela is having a blast, and she’s a hit with all the guests. Customers often tell Shaela she has a winning attitude and is destined for greatness.

Timothy and Catina have a blast at the St. Peter’s Fiesta for old time’s sake. Things seem to be looking up.

Nilsen tells a customer to f&$@ off. Javed lets him go.

But there’s a problem – a big one. Employees, for whatever reason, aren’t getting paid. Javed assures each, when asked, that “money is never a problem.” He’s said they’re switching over to a new bank that is giving them a much better deal.

The paychecks resume for a couple weeks before Javed calls another meeting. The fridge units, which had iced up on and off since the Pakistani brothers owned the place, added hours of labor each week while the kitchen staff engaged in the daily ritual of thawing out one cooling unit and shuffling the food inventory from one to the next. At this moment, the main walk-in fridge, a monster of a unit taking up a good quarter of the restaurant’s total real estate, was failing.

“A lot of you are asking for more money,” Javed says, pausing periodically for Catina to translate. “I don’t have it. I try to be nice to you folks, but – Adnan was asking me to buy something. And I can’t. He thinks I’m trying to invest in the business. But I just don’t have it. We’re not making enough money.

“I’m not going to be nice any more. Because at the end of the day, when it comes down to my business, I will not run out of money because of you. Everybody needs to work harder. And Meechew, with the Tequila – we’re not going to say that’s fine anymore. From now on, I’m going to be not so nice a person. If you don’t do your job, maybe we hire somebody else.

“Enjoy the food; if you don’t understand, talk to Catina and she’ll translate it for you.”

Jim’s co-worker to Jim as they scrape pizza pans: “I don’t know if I would have mentioned the bit about him having issues with his brother in the meeting.”

Jim chuckled, “I wouldn’t have mentioned Mitchell’s drinking problem.”

Jim and Friend: “Tequila!”

********************

Business continued more or less the same for the next couple months; the front counter continued to send deliveries to the wrong addresses, and guest after guest confided to their servers, “I know it’s not your fault. I’m going to complain online.”

Then, Adnan texted employees that Mike’s Place is closed due to litigation with Mike Parianos. Rumors began to swirl about mice, and about the Azeems not paying their rent.

Requests from employees for final paychecks have been largely ignored, and Javed recently told an employee to leave the store when he was asked for a check. Some employees are owed at least three weeks of pay.

I’ll let the FakeNews spin this, but I’m going to refrain from offering an opinion here, particularly given my interest as a former stakeholder. That said, I trust this might provide some psychological closure for those attempting to understand what happened to Gloucester’s favorite pizza place.

Please share this with a friend, because Facebook and Google have both banned it.

And then, keep reading to find out what will happen in the continuing Mike’s Place Saga…