Dear ANTIFA *ussies: President Donald J. Trump Is The Safe Space President

My fellow Americans, President Donald J. Trump is the closest thing to the personality of the Greatest Generation than we could ever ask for. Much ado is made amongst you crazy, smelly, self-admittedly awkward millennials about how much you love your safe spaces. And I don’t blame you!

I love safe spaces. I don’t like being blown up, or shot at, or the threat of Russia nuking us over a prolonged period of time – all of which will instantly become infinitely more likely if President Donald Trump does not win a second term in office.

I know, I know. Maybe President Trump’s words may have gotten your male panties in a chaff – or whatever it is your male panties get into. And you know what? I have no reason to want that to happen, because when your panties get in a snit, or a bee gets into your bonnet, you are one step farther away from seeing your penis and realizing that you are actually a dude and are out of your mind. So I hope your wedgie goes away soon. I really do!

But listen, you man-bun-wielding pussies. There are some things which are even more dangerous than being called a double penisburger-eating sodomite.

There are very bad people in this world who want you and your multi-ethnic transfriend dead.

And you know what, as much as sometimes I joke about the ANTIFA pussies that you hang out with; I don’t want to see you killed – at least not by a terrorist attack. I’d much rather see you hold on to the rights that only America guarantees for sodomites like you – and those rights are so much better than the rights you’ll have if, say, Biden became president, and Vladmir Putin took over, or one of the Islamist nations. Because then – well, then, you wouldn’t even have your White Collar Prison safe space. Hell, you wouldn’t even have your Federal Pounding-in-the-Ass prison. Russia, or the islamists, in either scenario with America failing, would literally shoot you pussies.

Now, granted, you could have a great life if you just stop being pussies. But I understand that not being a pussy isn’t something that’s on your radar screen because you’ve been programmed by the Communist FakeNews and your phone since you’ve been born to believe that you were born a pussy and will never be anything more than a pussy.

I’m not here to convince you to stop being a pussy. I’m just saying, millennialls, if you’re going to be a squirrely ANTIFA Manbun-wearing, Ninja-turtle-Halloween-Costume wearing pussy – guarantee that your real safe-space – where you can continue to act like a pussy – exists. And that’s the United States of America.

Know that your being a pussy doesn’t serve anyone, least of all, your pussefied, effeminate male bedfellows whom the media has similarly hypnotized into believing that they are pussies too.

So keep on prancing around; I’m not going to stop you. You’ve got to want to be a man; nobody can do that for you.

I’m just asking you – for your own sake – to recognize who the real provider of your safe space is.

Not even the leftist whackos at your college campus can protect you from a nuclear war, or domestic terrorism. Thankfully, even we Patriotic, Biblical, Constitutionalist Americans – the ones who get what really makes America – have your back when it comes to your genuine safety. When you’re prancing around in your Disney Marvel Comic outfit – just know that it’s a Trump-supporting soldier from good country people keeping you safe at all hours of the day, around the world.

Wanna hold on to your safe space? Maybe tune out that leftist ideologue professor ranting because he hates his own Greatest Generation parents or grandparents who fought and died for all of us, and does nothing for you. And so these leftist ideologue professors rant because – well, they’re jealous, and the greatness of the Greatest Generation makes them look so rightfully awful by comparison.

But learn from these miserable leftist ideologues, even as you are tempted to continue acting like an anti-Trump Pussy. Just admit, like all the ladies out there who cuss Trump because they really want to be with Trump but can’t be – admit that Trump has done more successful things with his life. Indeed, acknowledge for your own sake that Trump is protecting your right to act like a pussy, and do things like throw water on a police officer. Yeah, that’s a real pussy thing to do. So knock it off.

You know, and I know, that nobody wants to be a sodomite, an effeminate drag queen. And nobody’s putting a gun to your head telling you you have to be. So – for the sake of all of us – knock it off. I know, that may be too much to ask, because you’re still under the media’s hypnosis that you were born that way. Okay. We’ll leave that alone for now.

Just- if you want to keep acting like a pussy without being nuked or shot, vote for President Donald J. Trump. At the end of the day, a vote for President Donald Trump is a vote for America’s continued existence. That means, while you might get arrested for throwing glitter on a police officer, at least you won’t get immediately shot, and your whole family won’t get nuked.

Although if too many of you keep acting like pussies, there won’t be any soldiers left, and we’ll all get nuked by the Taliban, Russia, North Korean, or the others who really hate all of our guts.

So suck it up — no, not that — I mean – be a team player in the country that gave you, and to continue everything you have, America. Vote for President Donald J. Trump, just like the Gays for Trump. They know who’s keeping them safe. Isn’t it time you voted for the real protector of your safe space?